Required:

Each player must start the game with a shot, a short and a pint.

Each player must nominate their club(s) of choice, and drink as per the instructions whenever that club manager utters one of the keywords or cliches. Special forfeits are listed for particular turns of phrase.

Today, we shall begin, with Arsene Wenger and Martin Jol.

Arsene Wenger

Any mention of the performance showing mental strength - two fingers of the pint

"We dropped physically in the second half" - two fingers of the pint

"We could've had X goals" - one finger of the pint for every goal above the amount actually scored

"Resilient" - one finger of the short

"Focus" - one finger of the short

"Togetherness" - two fingers of the pint

Key phrase:

"I feel this team has a lot of potential" - stand up, shout 'I did not see the incident!', and down the shot

Martin Jol

"We deserved better" - two fingers of the pint

"We need time" - two fingers of the pint

"We are creating chances" - one finger of the pint for every goal conceded, as apparently Jol doesn't care about that end

Mentions a defensive injury - one finger of the short

Denies rift or potential sale of any player - two fingers of the short - this always means the player is a goner

Backtracks on a previous statement (see neat transition from 'we can win titles' to 'The board never said we needed to be in the top four') - two fingers of the pint

Key item:

Any of his repeated references to Arsenal 'riches' - stand up, put on your best Christian Gross impression, saying 'Ve vill vork harder', and down your shot

Coming soon - Benitez's conspiracies and a drink for every one of Jose's pouts.....